Top Ten reasons I wish I had become a Prison Guard instead of a High School teacher

10) Better pay.
9) I would be less afraid to turn the lights out.
8) As a prison guard, you probably don’t have to shower as much.
7) In High School, Mr. Blocker is the superintendent. In prison, Mr. Blocker is the name of the ex-football player heroine addict who got caught stealing cocaine from a pimp named “DiamondBack”. Now I ask you….which one would you rather be around? I thought so.
6) As a prison guard, more of my “clients” have probably taken the SAT.
5) If an inmate is late, you get to put them in the “hole”.
4) Better benefits.
3) I am guessing there would be less “red tape”.
2) Plain brown uniforms with patches imply power.
1) You’re armed.